What I Envy About Others....

When I'm relaxing, I usually go online and started clicking and reading other ppl's blogs through AL's blog.

No wonder blogs can bring negative impact to others and some can even cause depression. I'm quite jealous with other ppl's life. AL gets to go out with her friends practically everyday, spinning in her new car. Me leh... busy working and trying to hit my target. It makes me wonder why am I so motivated by money. As if money can buy everything! But then life goes on...

Janice is so lucky to be able to work yet hang out with friends. I'm quite disappointed that I didn't get to hang out more often with Janice and Karen. Scared of losing both of them as best friends if I continue not to make time to hang out with them. Then again, it makes me think... if anything happens to me, will my friends be by my side or I'll be left all alone?

Charng has the opportunity to splurge on her hair... RM500++ just for hairdo? I can't even afford a RM8 hair cut. Not to say can't afford but I'm stingy coz I earn every single sen through sweat and bruises. It's really hard earn cold cash. To spend away like that is a sin. I'm back to myself again and I'm not planning to go shopping anymore. I've never enjoy shopping but don't know what got to me a few months back to shop like nobody's business.

So many of them go clubbing like HC and Lin. Am I cut out to be that kinda person. I don't think so. And I rate myself as not being sociable at all.... *Sigh*. Clubbing is not my choice of activity to carry out. Drink away my hard earned money? I can't find myself doing that... so why am I complaining?

Abi, Irene, Pao, Li Yuin and so many of them get to study overseas and in the mean time tour in neighbouring countries... I'm wondering when can I do that. Tour the whole world and not to worry about money.... not to worry whether my business will survive the number of days I chose to close. I really envy their abilities to be able to study overseas and to travel.

Some friends said that I'm lucky coz' I don't have to work for people. And I am my own boss. Actually working for myself is very hard. Better work in offices where you get paid at the end of the month by hook or by crook. Don't have to care whether the overhead is too much to bear or whether business is good or bad. Just work 8 hours and go home. I work morning, cook in the afternoon... now want to cook also can't find the time. Extra time is used for sales... early evening got classes usually from 4pm I'll be busy straight up till 10pm. If there's anymore appointment it'll from 11pm until 1am.

This is not human work! More to a robot. I'm constantly reminding myself not to complain. But just need to vent out my frustrations. Shouldn't have jumped into working life so early. Looks like I'm stuck to it. Nowhere to run! Can't imagine myself working for people. I can't take orders from people... don't like to work for people.

I'm crapping a lot o'er here. Quite frustrated with life. Sometimes feel like dying earlier. Like exchanging life with another person who finds a reason to live yet couldn't make it due to health problems.