The Truth about the Fart and the Snore...

I do not need to read the cartoon column in the newspaper to cheer me up neither do I need to scroll through some nonsensical comic strips to have a good laugh on something which I do not understand completely. I have entertainers in the house and in the car. 

My best entertainer will be my precious. She's not a 5-year-old but she's going to be 17 this year. She's one authentic joker who will give me a real good laugh while I'm driving. In a nonchalant tone, all of a sudden, she would announce to us that she's gonna fart. Oh, wow~! Such great announcement. According to her, it's an act of kindness of informing us as none of us has any room to escape while I'm speeding away on the road. We would wait to hear the fart coming out but after a few minutes, there was no sound at all. She said the fart was on its way. Then, she said it's already done with minimal effect because the farts were within her control. That's rather entertaining. 

Then, as a Science student, she went on to explain in great details about the various pattern of farts. As all of you are aware, there are controlled farts where you can control the sound volume and prayerfully, it wouldn't stink the entire area and cause death due to suffocation. Sometimes, the sound volume would be at the lowest but the stink level was so bad, even the skunk wouldn't survive. Try eating durians and fart in a small area without proper ventilation. Then, there's the fart where it's beyond your control. It sounded like a huge explosion but the stink level was minimal. If you do that among strangers, it will cause you some embarrassment but you do it within family members and good friends, they should be able to forgive you and have a good 5-minute laugh after that.

According to my fart-genius girl, when there's no one around *please check around to be 200% sure there's no one within ear shot* you can release your machine-gun-like fart as long as you want. Maybe you should try firing the machine-gun fart among your friends and family members, everyone would have such a good laugh that they will have teary eyes at the end of your fart. Some will sound like shot gun firing away in the dark and the pleasure that comes after, it's incomprehensible. There is a dangerous fart though that brings along solid waste from your rectum. Be aware of that fart. 

Snore. I am exposed to snoring that sounds like the trains and trucks are coming into formation on the highway. It's really hard to explain but the snore was so loud you will be jolted awake. Try taking the train from Penang to Kuala Lumpur. We've taken that three times. Take the one at night with sleeper coach. The snores sounded like when the train was about to come to a halt and with another passing train from the next track. It was really complicated to explain the sort of snore that I am exposed to every night. Earlier in my marriage, I thought I might suffer from sleep deprivation due to the loud snoring but yesterday nite, I realize that I would not be able to sleep well without the snore. I need the snore to send me to dreamland now. But actually, I make myself so tired during the day with work and more work and I do not take naps in the afternoon so by the time the clock strikes 12, and when the head hits the pillow, I hear a few loud snores and I'm off~! According to the hubby, I can snore louder than him when I'm really tired. Hah~! Revenge of the snore~!!