I Am Your Mysterious Atomy Product Speaker for ODS Penang...

How did I end up on stage? I was forced, pushed and cornered into it. The first time I was on stage, I was dancing for the kindergarten performances, then in my primary school life, I was up on stage to receive prizes and also to perform, then in secondary school, I spent less time on stage and that's it. I had a shouting match with my guest from Korea. My first time screaming at my own guest and she was so disappointed in me and broke down emotionally. I was about to have mental breakdown. In the end, I started using Google and read through every single write-up I can click on about Atomy and its skin care products including the scientific processes. I asked the hubby to chop off my hair in defiance as I know my guest, also my sponsor by then, plans to roll up my hair. You can't roll up short hair... hiah hiah hiah...

All my life, I just used water to splash on my face. No soap or anything on my face. I know I have good complexion but I have potholes on my face, thanks to my itchy fingers. I dug those potholes when I was seven and had a really bad case of chicken pox. It was really self-entertaining and an enjoyable pastime to dig those itchy scabs loose. 

I was adamant not to touch any of the products when my guest first stepped into my house. Actually I almost fainted when she opened her bag and I saw the monstrous amount of tubes and bottles. My life was thrown off the tower, it's not like doing a bungee jump. There was no rope tied and wrapped around my feet. I was flung off a very tall building when I was forced to use all of them.

In the end, I pounded 13 different stuff on my face day and night. I have to do it or else I could not go up the stage to be the product speaker. I prepared my speech like I am writing an essay. I am an expert in writing essays in both Malay and English language. I typed it out into my phone memo so instead of holding pieces of A4 sized paper on stage, I just need to hold on to my phone. It looked more professional like that.

I texted my travel buddy in the land of Oz, she asked me to just crap along. I told her I could not crap in front of 600 and more people. I must be serious because Atomy is a serious company. While I was waiting for my turn to go on stage, one of the company crew men suddenly came to me and said I need to control the slides myself. My mind made a somersault and landed face down on the ground. My initial plan was to hold the microphone in my right hand and my phone in my left hand so should I just put the controller on the floor and use my foot to press it? In the end, I put my phone on the table with product display and I thought I was so smart, I did not wear my spectacles so that I could not see anyone clearly. The con was I could not even read my phone memo clearly. I have 4 lengthy pages of them but I could not even make out one word of it. 

Before I went up for the product introductory speech, a video of the CEO of the company giving a speech or I should say a lecture was played. So many people dozed off into dreamland. I could not doze off because I was given the VIP seat on the front row. Out of the lengthy video, I caught only two sentences by Mr. Park Han-Gil,"YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THE PROCESS OF HOW THE PRODUCTS ARE MADE. YOU ONLY NEED TO KNOW HOW TO INTRODUCE THEM TO PEOPLE." I might not have gotten the exact same words but I was shocked awake. What am I going to explain then since there were 4 slides on the technology used to produce the products? Then, I looked around and snickered to myself. No one heard that phrase. It's okay... I'm going to carry on with my Science lesson on purification, extraction, fermentation and nano capsulation technology.

Since I could not read my notes properly and I did not memorize anything, I started to stumble in the beginning. Then, I remembered all the encouragements that I received and what my travel buddy told me. I hate seeing people sleep if I'm giving a speech. I abandoned what I wrote on my memo since I could not even read them clearly and I just be myself. Be myself means I turned into a stand-up comedian.... hahahhahahahaha.... sorry, I'm just not the serious type. I was asked to watch how the product speakers from other countries give their speeches and I almost fall asleep in less than one minute. I just cannot stand being so serious and monotone-d. A good laugh would wake anyone up. Don't you dare sleep when I'm giving a speech, I will make you laugh until you embarrass yourself rolling on the floor. I, on the other hand, am a beh pai seh eh lang *hokkien dialect* Go figure what it means...

On a different note, I have changed my toothbrush to Atomy's gold-bristle anti-bacterial toothbrush. Changed my polar bear toothpaste to propolis toothpaste.

My Sunsilk shampoo is converted to the herbal shampoo and the best conditioner ever~! My goat milk shower cream is kicked out of the shower cubicle and replaced with Atomy's herbal body cleanser.

I asked myself what am I doing and until today I still don't know what I am doing. I do not have a photo of myself on stage and I have not seen myself on video. I don't intend to watch it at all. Don't bother sending me one. I'll scare myself away. The last time I watched my own video was when I played my Grade 7 pieces to my Uncle Joe. Looking at my own fingers playing scared me so much I kept thinking whose fingers were those and I flopped my third piece but survived just enough to get a distinction. Please excuse me, I need to plaster my face so that I can have natural porcelain-like face when you see me in person.