Straightening My Priorities....

My life is in a mess. I'm not as organized as before anymore. My heart is crushed. My tears are running dry. I felt so useless. I'm down in the dumps. I'm so lost. I don't know where to go. I don't know who to turn to. I don't know what to say. My dignity and reputation has been destroyed. I want to make a U-turn. I wished I've not been there. I wanted to make things right again. I hate myself. Why am I there? Lord, why put me in such a situation? Or should I say, "Congratulations, Satan! You've get what you wanted!"

Why am I so weak to fall into tempatations? I just want a normal life. Nothing more than that. Am I so useless and worthless? I can't even find the right path... No! I've to straighten my priorities.... but do I have the will to do that? I can't even find the strength to breathe.

These are the things that I wanted to do, Lord, please bless me....
I will build up an empire of businesses....
I will not lose to anyone but I'll march forward towards my goal to be a millionaire before the age 30 to help the church and get more people to know the Lord.
I want to be who I want to be.
I do not want to be humiliated by anyone.

I resent those who has humiliated me. I resent my wrong steps. I resent playing with fire. I'm the one who got burnt in the end. I was torched up like a wild bush! Where am I going to put my face? Where am I going to hide? Do I really want to hide myself?

Lord, if I could just turn the clock around, I wouldn't want to make the same mistake anymore. I don't even want to be in this situation at all. Lord, I need you to carry me through this calamity that has struck me hard. I can't walk alone. I might lost my way and fall.