Raising Teenagers...

I've not been seriously blogging for long. Maybe I've lost the passion in writing. I've been staring at the cursor for quite some time, the clock is ticking away, yet I have no idea what I want to write about when in fact I have lots of things to say. This is somehow like an open diary to me. A place where I pour almost everything out in the open yet I do not care whether I'm going to be criticized for voicing out loud or for going against the norm of culture.

I've been wanting to write about how to raise a teenager. I raised four, not one. Have my hubby and I done a good job? That is for God to decide, not men. Over the years, truth be told, I wasn't very happy with the arrangements. In my opinion, I have sacrificed 10 years of my young adulthood taking care of other people's children. I'm 29 this year... sounds kinda old... and what have I achieved so far? Counting my blessings... I have everything that I've ever wanted but sometimes I feel like I have nothing at all. I look at others and I felt like I'm so incompetent. Hubby couldn't seem to understand a single word that I said. That's the most frustrating part. 

This is my eldest. The SPM result that she has just gotten, I was upset with her results, have always been pretty upset with her results. Well, who to blame? Me or her? I never have the extra time in hand to coach her personally. I can't even find time to mould her into what I wanted her to be. The only thing that I've truly done for each of them is giving them really good food. Their taste buds have been spoiled by all the good tastes, making them into picky eaters. God is gracious with her and she didn't fail any of the subjects. She did okay looking at how she has not been studying yet she still managed to get 4 A's. She's going to be a qualified chef real soon. I guess the 10 years that I've sacrificed standing in the kitchen has impacted her in a way that I could not understand. At least I can be sure that she will grow up into someone with a job, someone with a great future. Love you no matter what... 

That's my pineapple on the left and my precious on the right. In every family, there's bound to be favouritism. I can let my precious off no matter what kinda mistakes she has made. I hardly scold her unless she drove me up the walls by interfering with my working hours. The first and the last time she did that, I screamed at her so horrifyingly, I thought she was gonna cry her eyes out. So yeah, that was also my first and last time screaming at her. My precious, the one who knows what I've always wanted from her, my expectations and everything else. She has make me really proud of her with her string of straight A's. Now, I understand why MOST parents, if not all, like to boast about how well their children fair in the public examination. I gloated over her results for days... but at the same time I was faced with a dilemma.

My pineapple did not do well... cried her eyes out... I wasn't sure whether I should laugh because of my precious' success or I should cry together with her. I was so lost as I only know how to laugh and I hardly know how to cry and I have not mastered the art of consoling someone who cried uncontrollably. In the end, I took my pineapple to another state, drove up north and went to celebrate for she is still better than others. Love them both... I'm still telling myself that life is not about how well you do in an examination.

There... there my youngest who tested my patience. She has been a great help in the house and I'm pushing her to be a high achiever. Don't ask me why am I pushing her, but I just want her to be a great achiever as I know she is talented in every way, creative and innovative. She's artistic and.... oh, well.... I don't know what to say about her... 

In conclusion, it doesn't matter how well they fair in the examination. The most important part in raising a child, is to raise him or her in God's way. Seeing them in the Youth Celebration makes me really proud of them. They are able to support each other in prayer. They have the fear of God in their lives. They know how to thank God in good times and bad times, keeping their focus on Jesus instead of the worldly materials. I think we did right by bringing them to know the Lord. 

No matter how much I enjoy the peace and quietness in the house, my house is always not quiet. And I have to admit that I have come to enjoy the noise, their chatters when they're back from school, their antics and especially when they're enjoying the meals prepared by me... the chef in the house... 

Three more years and my youngest will graduate from high school... I wonder whether I am dreading the moment or looking forward to it...