Wednesday, January 15, 2014

The Truth about the Fart and the Snore...

I do not need to read the cartoon column in the newspaper to cheer me up neither do I need to scroll through some nonsensical comic strips to have a good laugh on something which I do not understand completely. I have entertainers in the house and in the car. 
My best entertainer will be my precious. She's not a 5-year-old but she's going to be 17 this year. She's one authentic joker who will give me a real good laugh while I'm driving. In a nonchalant tone, all of a sudden, she would announce to us that she's gonna fart. Oh, wow~! Such great announcement. According to her, it's an act of kindness of informing us as none of us has any room to escape while I'm speeding away on the road. We would wait to hear the fart coming out but after a few minutes, there was no sound at all. She said the fart was on its way. Then, she said it's already done with minimal effect because the farts were within her control. That's rather entertaining. 

Then, as a Science student, she went on to explain in great details about the various pattern of farts. As all of you are aware, there are controlled farts where you can control the sound volume and prayerfully, it wouldn't stink the entire area and cause death due to suffocation. Sometimes, the sound volume would be at the lowest but the stink level was so bad, even the skunk wouldn't survive. Try eating durians and fart in a small area without proper ventilation. Then, there's the fart where it's beyond your control. It sounded like a huge explosion but the stink level was minimal. If you do that among strangers, it will cause you some embarrassment but you do it within family members and good friends, they should be able to forgive you and have a good 5-minute laugh after that.
According to my fart-genius girl, when there's no one around *please check around to be 200% sure there's no one within ear shot* you can release your machine-gun-like fart as long as you want. Maybe you should try firing the machine-gun fart among your friends and family members, everyone would have such a good laugh that they will have teary eyes at the end of your fart. Some will sound like shot gun firing away in the dark and the pleasure that comes after, it's incomprehensible. There is a dangerous fart though that brings along solid waste from your rectum. Be aware of that fart. 
Snore. I am exposed to snoring that sounds like the trains and trucks are coming into formation on the highway. It's really hard to explain but the snore was so loud you will be jolted awake. Try taking the train from Penang to Kuala Lumpur. We've taken that three times. Take the one at night with sleeper coach. The snores sounded like when the train was about to come to a halt and with another passing train from the next track. It was really complicated to explain the sort of snore that I am exposed to every night. Earlier in my marriage, I thought I might suffer from sleep deprivation due to the loud snoring but yesterday nite, I realize that I would not be able to sleep well without the snore. I need the snore to send me to dreamland now. But actually, I make myself so tired during the day with work and more work and I do not take naps in the afternoon so by the time the clock strikes 12, and when the head hits the pillow, I hear a few loud snores and I'm off~! According to the hubby, I can snore louder than him when I'm really tired. Hah~! Revenge of the snore~!! 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Yen's Kitchen: No Kangkung... Two Weeks Into 2014...

As the classes are starting earlier than usual, I have the chance to have a quick good look at the sun rising and wishing everyone a very good morning. You know, the politics in this country... I can't seem to fathom any of them but what I know is that, my God is an unchanging God. The sun still rises in the east and sets in the west. The formation of clouds may change all the time but you're still looking at clouds. 
Seriously, the prices of everything under the sun has gone up but the price of the water spinach has gone down. I remembered buying a small bunch of water spinach costing RM1 at Kek Lok Si to feed the terrapins. So, what's the price now for a bundle of water spinach? It has been a real hoo-hah in the Facebook, applauding the country's Prime Minister for being understanding by bringing down the price of water spinach. How did the story start and where the ending is heading towards, I don't think I really care. Do you seriously think I will cook water spinach just because the price has gone down?
I just pan fried salmon for my lunch. Come on, it's not like we can't afford anything just because of price hike and inflation. As long as I don't have to push a trolley filled with money just to buy a loaf of bread, I thank God for everything. The world is coming to an end, looks like it. Before long our money will be of no value and the mark of the beast will be introduced. Exciting times... so who's the anti-Christ? Just curious...
I started the year with a long table dinner for the church elders... more like nutcrackers... whoever says church elders and pastors have to be serious, carrying the Bible wherever they are and saying "Hallelujah... Praise the Lord" in every conversation? Those who miss this dinner... you totally miss it :D No worries... I will host the long table dinner once awhile... for the fun of it. Who says must have special occasion only can host dinners? I enjoy cooking and once in awhile I enjoy serving people. There's NO kangkung in any of the dishes. I have nothing against kangkung... I'm just not a vege lover.
I have something different for once. The glass jar... I bought three of them last year to store cookies. I never have any chance at all to store even one piece of cookie because whenever the oven 'ting', in less than 15 minutes, the whole tray of cookies disappeared completely. Thus, I never have the chance to keep anything in the glass jar. I made this Malacca pineapple tarts for the first time. The first tray went into everyone's mouth and then I used my veto power in the house to put restriction on the second and third tray. I managed to keep only ONE jar for last Sunday's dinner. And then again, it's already empty. A few people asked me whether I'm keeping this for Chinese New Year which will be arriving in another two weeks' time. Keep? I have nothing left now coz I gave them away. Old habits die hard. I'm always giving because I enjoy doing so. I think I need to make new ones for the sake of filling up the glass jar. I love to see glass jar filled with cookies. 
Oh... my first ice-cream made from scratch. The durian ice-cream which is to die for. It's a combination of Musang King and D-11. I have the best chocolate ice-cream which I have no photo of. Never occur to me to snap the chocolate ice-cream's photo. Looks like I have to make a new one. Goodbye Haagen... I churn my own ice-cream now and I make my own bread... goodbye Massimo. It's Yen's Kitchen... anything will just appear from there. 

I don't really have that much free time in hand to blog. My free time is well spent in the kitchen or in front of the idiot box. I don't want to pay for monthly subscription of cable television for no one to watch it. I just want to spend time with myself.... and the hubby.