I have been hearing him telling me about having stomach pain due to gastric. I never believed him as students who are lazy will always give excuses not to come for tuition. They can tell the cock and bull story about having buttache, stomachache, headache, sore eye, dizzy, fever and lots more. He has been telling me about it since last year but I brushed it off. I don't believe that every single week he'll be having stomachache.
There was once he told me how much he hated his mother because she divorced and married for the second time. I didn't know that was the most bitter episode in his life. His hatred turned into something destructive. Internally he's destroying himself without realizing it. He's just a boy who doesn't know how to vent out his frustration.
This year when he started telling me he's coughing out lumps of blood I had to call his mother to bring him to the hospital. He's one person who will tell me things which he's not happy about. Most of my students will tell me what they do not want their parents to know. I have lower down my level to relate to them. Basically I do that because I feel that it's better for them to talk to me than to talk to their peers who might give them the wrong information.
Last Tuesday, he went for a scope test to check whether he has any ulcer in the stomach. The test showed negative. But there was something wrong when the doctor touched the abdomen. Because General Hospital has a list of patients waiting to do CAT Scan, his mother took the effort to send him to Lam Wah Ee Hospital. The next day, he was admitted. I didn't know what happen coz' his younger brother told me that he had a growth in his stomach. Therefore, he needs to be operated immediately.
He was being operated on Thursday night, but he was only conscious on Saturday night. I went to see him. It really broke my heart to see such a lively, talkative and active boy lying on the hospital rendered helpless. He can't even move an inch of his body. His family members were not there so I asked the staff nurse about his condition. The nurse repeatly told me that she's not in the position to tell me anything. If it's only a growth then why can't I know? He told me he's in so much pain so I couldn't talk to him much. The clipboard with his details were on the table. I took a glance and saw something... he's given morphine. The strongest and the purest drug as painkiller. I called the mother at that moment. She asked me to go over to her place to explain things.
I can't stop crying when I hear it. I prayed to him in Jesus' name that he will be healed but it will take a very long journey. He's had prostate cancer where the surgeons have already removed whatever that was necessary. Because he kept it to himself for so long, the cancerous cells have spread into all the internal organs. His stomach has been destroyed... he can't take proper meals without feeling any pain, his lungs are badly affected. He's being quite breathless. His heart is the only organ left which is not attacked. I know it's within my power to do anything except to pray for him.
Janice and Karen, thanks for praying for him. He survived the critical night. Now I realized how powerful is this statement, "Let go and let God." I have to tell the mother how much hatred he has in his system. That night, I went with his mother again. His mother explained things to him and asked for his forgiveness. In order for his body to fight back the cancer, he has to let go of the unforgiving episode in his life. I really pray that he'll let go and he'll find the strength to fight it back.
For those who actually read my blog, please pray for him. His name is Mohd. Shazmil. Regardless of religion, please pray for him. He knows that I'm getting Christians to pray for him. To me there's only ONE GOD in this world. So, pray in whatever way you want. I just want him to keep on living. He's a good boy. Eventhough he lives in a lousy neighbourhood, he's not even involve in gangsterism. He's not even rough. He's nice with everybody.
God knows the best for him. If he has to go, I'll have to slowly absorb it into my system. He's in pain all the time. On Sunday, when I visited him, he's quite cheerful but after speaking to me for less than 5 words, he became breathless again. He's still smiling and I'm very happy to see that. At least there's some glow in his face. I'll never give up praying for him.