Thursday, June 29, 2006

What I Envy About Others....

When I'm relaxing, I usually go online and started clicking and reading other ppl's blogs through AL's blog.

No wonder blogs can bring negative impact to others and some can even cause depression. I'm quite jealous with other ppl's life. AL gets to go out with her friends practically everyday, spinning in her new car. Me leh... busy working and trying to hit my target. It makes me wonder why am I so motivated by money. As if money can buy everything! But then life goes on...

Janice is so lucky to be able to work yet hang out with friends. I'm quite disappointed that I didn't get to hang out more often with Janice and Karen. Scared of losing both of them as best friends if I continue not to make time to hang out with them. Then again, it makes me think... if anything happens to me, will my friends be by my side or I'll be left all alone?

Charng has the opportunity to splurge on her hair... RM500++ just for hairdo? I can't even afford a RM8 hair cut. Not to say can't afford but I'm stingy coz I earn every single sen through sweat and bruises. It's really hard earn cold cash. To spend away like that is a sin. I'm back to myself again and I'm not planning to go shopping anymore. I've never enjoy shopping but don't know what got to me a few months back to shop like nobody's business.

So many of them go clubbing like HC and Lin. Am I cut out to be that kinda person. I don't think so. And I rate myself as not being sociable at all.... *Sigh*. Clubbing is not my choice of activity to carry out. Drink away my hard earned money? I can't find myself doing that... so why am I complaining?

Abi, Irene, Pao, Li Yuin and so many of them get to study overseas and in the mean time tour in neighbouring countries... I'm wondering when can I do that. Tour the whole world and not to worry about money.... not to worry whether my business will survive the number of days I chose to close. I really envy their abilities to be able to study overseas and to travel.

Some friends said that I'm lucky coz' I don't have to work for people. And I am my own boss. Actually working for myself is very hard. Better work in offices where you get paid at the end of the month by hook or by crook. Don't have to care whether the overhead is too much to bear or whether business is good or bad. Just work 8 hours and go home. I work morning, cook in the afternoon... now want to cook also can't find the time. Extra time is used for sales... early evening got classes usually from 4pm I'll be busy straight up till 10pm. If there's anymore appointment it'll from 11pm until 1am.

This is not human work! More to a robot. I'm constantly reminding myself not to complain. But just need to vent out my frustrations. Shouldn't have jumped into working life so early. Looks like I'm stuck to it. Nowhere to run! Can't imagine myself working for people. I can't take orders from people... don't like to work for people.

I'm crapping a lot o'er here. Quite frustrated with life. Sometimes feel like dying earlier. Like exchanging life with another person who finds a reason to live yet couldn't make it due to health problems.

3 comments:

aL said...

oh c'mon baby. dont be crazy okay. different ppl hv different kinda lifestyles..u noe it urself. different ppl with different financial ability can do different things...

hanging out with friends is what youngsters wud alwiz do. we find time for it. even when we start working, we must find time to chill out somewhere. yes, money is important but sanity is most crucial. sleep on it pal...

karen n janice are the truest friends one can get. dont 'fred they wil leave alrite?

charng's rm500 hairdo is no doubt expensive but its what she can afford =) i've seen many friends doing that too...

and the clubbing part..its good for sanity check ok. u wont drink all ur money away. rm30 per session is reasonable. its not like u're goin there evry week..the music wil drown ur problems away and the alcohol buzz in your head is nice once in awhile =) trust me...

as for those who are studying in other parts of the world...haha. i wont deny that im envy of them too!but im happy for them..

of cos u can vent your frustrations here..u can alwiz find me for a chat if u need my ears my friend...

finally my advice is that...dont push urself too hard too much. u cant earn all the money in the world. evryone is driven by money..thats the fact of life but remember...its NOT evrything. work and enjoy ur life in the process =) cheers!

Pao Pao said...

hey...
i remembered one fren telling me that.."you see me good i see u good.." erm..hehe translated straight from hokkien..
meaning...we always envy others and think that their lives are better than ours..but it's not until we are in their shoes eh??
i think u are doing a great job in serving God and also using ur time to help ur students....it's all these that matters ultimately. cheers :)

jan said...

i wont leave you missy!!!!!!!!! i'm so thankful i have a firned in you ..HUGS!!
God bless