Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Torn in Between...

I'm just so lost with where has all my time gone to? I was kinda amazed with myself like last year... how did I manage to keep this blog up with so many updates? Now, I have to sacrifice my sleep just to write a short article. It's always sacrificing the beauty sleep away like I want to bake but in the end I have to sacrifice away something that I have to do. How did I manage to go to the gym last time and at the same time cook up a storm in the kitchen? I cannot seem to understand but it seems like time is getting shorter and shorter or should I say that time flies away so fast you don't even realize that half the day is gone yet you haven't tick away any boxes from your to-do list. 

I'm torn in between the things that I like to do yet I can't seem to find the time to carry it out at all. You cannot imagine how much I enjoy going to the gym. I loathe running on the treadmill but I love every equipment with weights. But now... the only thing that builds my muscle up will be carrying that heavy pot of soup from the stove to the table. *sigh*

Then, I do want to spend more time in the old house where I have everything within my reach. I just need to move an inch or two from the corner of the mattress and lo-and-behold, I have my books in hand. The computer is really fast back in town but the computer and the Internet service in the new house sucks big time. Yeah, time to get wi-fi but I'm having second thoughts about that.

Having a wi-fi in the new house means I will be spending more time doing unproductive things. I find that I still have a monster in me that is addicted to chatting. I have the gift of the gap, for that you can't blame me. I really wanted to keep this blog alive and kicking as it's the only medium for me to vent all my frustration and talk to my hearts contend. I have my full freedom of speech here without having to open my mouth and waste my saliva talking to a wall. 

Then, I wanted to stitch once again but where's the time to do that? Where has all my time gone to? I find myself waking up in the morning and by the time I end my working hours, I'm looking into the round yellow moon or I'll be looking at the pitch black sky.... time... time... where art' thou....

I need 8 hours of sleep a day to keep myself from being grumpy and verbally abusive. Sleeping for 8 hours means I have to hit the pillow at 11pm when I'm still driving back from somewhere you'll not want to know. By the time I reach home and take a seat staring at the beautiful DIY wall clock, the needles of the clock are inching towards midnight. I think I owe sleep bank millions of hours.

I need a new hobby to keep myself entertain. New hobby... that's laughable... can I have more time please? I even stopped going for jet-skiing because the sea is too far from the house, talk about staying on an island. I stopped reading because I can't find the time to even finish a chapter in a week. I fall asleep before I can even turn the page. If the story is really interesting, I'll be reading yet worrying about how to wake up the next day when I haven't even sleep.

I've been restless today... something's not right somewhere which I couldn't put my fingers to.... 

The only thing that I'm passionate about these days will be cooking. I find much joy slaving in the kitchen and I find greater joy in sharing all those yummy delights with people I'm comfortable with. It's more blessed to give than to receive... that I can totally understand...

1 comment:

Faisal Admar said...

hmm maybe you should find out about time management, by reading online or buy some books about it.

well, you're not alone, me too.

being a student and work at the same time really keep me busy. yes i managed to do gym, badminton, active in the company society, active at works with so many agendas but yet i still have to for studying.

now maybe its my last semester, its kinda messy here and there... and 2013 is not really helping me.. but i'm still survive. started with i couldn't sit for exam because of dengue fever, then i have to complete so many assignments right after i'm back to work which also keep me load of works... right after i was out of the hospital. instead of the assignments, i need to complete my thesis too.

then rescheduled my exam paper with the lecturer. read again. then, sister admitted to the hospital. then dad.. passed out at school and admitted to the hospital. then i got back pain which is actually cramp badly when i took days off from work to do my thesis... then today my best friend passed out and i have to take him to the clinic and look after him.

hehe kinda busy don't you think? but i know... i will manage to do what i like back again. oh ya.. my car got stolen in front of my house!

so i need to buy new car too.. then i need to start rent out my house which was abandon for so long. i need to pay all the maintenance fee too. gosh. so much money needed :)

but life is always like that.. there is up and down after all we still survive and will solve them all.. go through all the barricades :)

you will find time.. don't worry. i believe in you... do what you like.. because life is only once :)