Friday, February 17, 2006

Nothing Seems to be Right.....

Today is not a good day... woke up at the wrong side of the bed I guess.... but there's only one side for me to wake up from coz' the other side is against the wall... It's just the idiom I guess....

I HATE WORKING!
Everyday is the same... wake up... work.... work... work.... sleep... then wake up the next day work and work and toil and toil.... it has become a routine in my life! and I don't like it at all. There's nothing fun anymore where it used to be. I hate what I'm doing.... should be like Garfield eat and sleep, eat and sleep! Instead I'm surrounded by papers and books!
I HATE COOKING AND MARKETING!
What to cook? What to eat? What to buy? Chicken, vegetables, seafood, fish balls and lots of usual stuff.... Buy prawns then reach home must devein the prawns until my hands also stink! Buy fish have to wash... chicken also wash... spinach lagi teruk wash five times still got sand! Just wish I can eat salmon, cod, escargot, lobsters and venison for most of the days! Repeat dish? No way! I'm not going to cook the same old dish.... try out something new!
I HATE DRIVING!
Look at the escalating petrol price! Isn't that scary? Look at the terrible jam! It's drive you nuts... but compared to KL, Penang's jam is nothing.... there are so many potholes everywhere... uneven roads.... crazy drivers... we always said that drivers who are slower than us are idiots and those who drive faster than us are maniacs! So what are we? We are both idiots and maniacs!!!
I HATE SHOPPING!
Why look at the price before you buy something? Just grab what you like! Forget what people said about fashion... I'm not even a fashion freak! How much is the cheapest in my wardrobe?? RM49.90 for a simple Hush Puppy t-shirt.... then comes the question.... where does all the money go? Shopping!! A day of shopping spree for me is like spending RM1k buying nothing! It was suppose to be a lot.... but in the end I felt so unsatisfied.....
I HATE MYSELF!
What to do with myself? Dunno.... I don't like my hair.... it's so frizzy... I don't like wearing spectables.... I don't like my fat body!! So what do I like about myself.... the answer is nothing! Do I love others? The answer is obviously NO! How to love others when you don't even love yourself? Silly....
TODAY IS JUST NOT A BRIGHT AND SUNNY DAY FOR ME!!

2 comments:

aL said...

hey girl! been kinda busy lately. now only hv time to visit ur site. bout u hating ur job - y dont u quit ur job for now n further ur edu? 1 way to upgrade ur knowledge in ur specialised field and also to relax after yrs of hard work?

love yourself pal..you are who you are! u look fine ok. dont worry too much yeah.

yenmei said...

Obviously it is easy to say... when I stop I'll have to start from scratch.... looks like I have to live with it... I'll think positively just that once in a while your brain is not working well and you ... *sigh* dunno lar... I think you'll understand... emotional breakdown.