Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
If I were to write the story of my life in detail, I, myself would have fallen a sleep in less than a paragraph. It's the same ol' same ol' boring story of waking up all alone, hubby left early early to work, then I have to start working myself, followed by me deciding whether to head to the gym or laze around at home, started cooking lunch, work and work till the day was left with only an hour before the clock strikes twelve. In actual truth, my life is one fabulous one, how can life be boring with Jesus as my best friend and He is with me every day even when I'm driving through a quarter of the island every day.
First of all, my life is gonna change in one way or another. I finally get to live in my dream house. I actually have a vision of how is it gonna look like. God knows better and I walked into a house that I fall in love with immediately. A house is just a house but a home is different. The family area is so much larger than what I envisioned. The bedrooms are perfect. The whole place is perfect to the dot. I can't wait to decorate the house to perfection. My style of decorating.... :D That's one excitement that I'm totally looking forward to.
The next thing I'm looking forward to is this coming Wednesday. I'm not sure how I feel actually. Excited? I don't know what to expect and I've just ditched all my plans as it looks rather stressful to have everything plan up ahead of time. I shall follow my heart and see where the Lord leads me to. It's always perfect when God does the planning and leading. I think the saddest part of all would be having no contact in Facebook. This blog will not be updated for two weeks so if you ever come and visit and get frustrated, thinking that the blog is dead, it's not. You just need to come back very very much later, somewhere in the middle of the month. I'm gonna miss a lot of people. Gonna miss mi mama, mi hubby, Judz and Gracie... gonna miss all my teddy bears... I'm not sure whether I'm gonna miss the hot weather here at home... love you people... love you to the max...
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Three days ago, I gave the boy a very simple task. Write a few sentences about a dog in Malay Language. He was able to write down a few sentences but in the process of thinking, he almost yanked his hair out and he was very frustrated. So frustrated that he couldn't spell correctly, couldn't remember any of the words that he had learnt in primary school and couldn't think of anything. The head was empty, void of any vocabularies. Simple words that I have taught him didn't stick at all. After an hour and half of mental torture to him, he made a statement that freeze me in my tracks. I didn't know how to respond to him when he said in a matter of fact way,"I better go and commit suicide." The only thing that I could mutter from my mouth was, "Why?" And he answered in frustration,"I don't know anything. Don't even know a simple word." His mother heard it, standing at the door, saying that he has always been frustrated with himself. Lady, don't you see it? Please help him because I can't help him.
That night itself, I did something very cruel. I washed my hands clean off the boy. I asked hubby to talk to the mother as I refused to speak to her. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she should send her boy to be evaluated by a child specialist or people like Donk Donk who conducts schools for children with learning difficulties. The mother was begging with my hubby to let me teach him but I couldn't, not that I don't want to. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry but after going through a few classes with the boy, I have made up my mind. I don't want a child. I know that if I have a child like him, I will never come to terms with myself and I will be exactly like the mother, pushing the child to excel in studies when he can barely cope with anything at all.
Right now, I have a lot to think about and it's really depressing. I know I sound like a snob but if you were there when you heard the boy loud and clear, that was a cry for help, a cry to be understood, a cry that was brushed under the carpet by his own mother, a cry that would go unheard. Is this how it happens? A teenager commits suicide and the parents deny that the child show any signs of depression or any signals that they need help. I guess some parents practice selective listening. You listen to what pleases you. Again, I'm sorry I couldn't help.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Thursday, February 09, 2012
- Malay Language 1103
- English 1119 (... to the brainless people...)
- Moral Studies 1225
- History 1249
- Modern Maths 1449
- Additional 3472 Maths *do you cringe looking at this kinda Maths?*
- 4531 Physics
- 4551 Biology
I just added the examination codes to every subject yet no one will bother about it but when you see English 1119 you leap at it like you've caught gold falling out of the sky and then you go chasing after the wind as your goldflake has been blown away by the storm. By the way, there are so many people willing to pay hundreds and thousands of Ringgit for their children to study English taught by the whites. I'm not a racist. I'm saying white because none of us here in this country is white. We're brown. The best part of what I've seen with my own eyes was that the child learnt NOTHING at all from the exorbitant English courses but came back speaking English with a horrendous slang that I would feel like hammering a plank over the mouth in order not to further embarass the child. The only way to learn English - perfect English at that, English without flaws - is to learn it through listening and reading and then writing. Switch on that idiot box and start watching Sesame Streets or Barney or whatever cartoons or English movies that you can find screening from the TV stations. Read more... read, read, read, read and READ~! By hiring an American or Briton will not help as not all of them mastered the language. It's the same all over the world. You may come face-to-face with a Westerner who speaks broken English, a Chinese who can't understand even a word of Chinese, a Malay who flunk his Malay Language major examination paper, an Indian who curses you right and left for speaking Tamil as the particular person has never learn to speak his own mother tongue. In conclusion, stop being so stupid... por favor~!
PS. Don't get me wrong. I've never claim that I can speak or write perfect English...
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
With that single drop of water, accumulated over time, they form a large expanse of the Earth. About two-third of this Earth is covered by water - the dead lakes, the vast seas, the oceans that separate continents, the swirling rivers, the rushing waterfalls and the dirty water pumping out from your house. A single drop of water forms life on Earth. Let's travel back in time roughly about 2000 years ago when God has just created this Earth. No argument about the age of this planet Earth, please, let it be 2000 years ago because living with the dinosaurs were just a crazy idea. Now, imagine that there is no such thing as modernisation, it is just between you and nature. You have all the time in the world do live life in a slow pace. No hurry, no homework, no traffic to distract you, just the beauty of nature and you are staring at the roaring waterfall and it flows into a stream. Isn't it peaceful to just look into the water, see how clear it is, how drops of water can form into a habitat to sustain aquatic lives.
A drop of fresh dew. That signifies a new day. Hardly will you see the morning dew if you are staying in the heart of a city surrounded by buildings and more buildings. There is nothing to represent nature. Use your imagination and let's go up to Penang Hill or even Cameron Highlands. Take a walk among the trees in the garden and look at how the dew sparkle while it nestles on the green leaf and moving along to the tip of the leaf and plop it goes onto the ground. Take in a deep breath and know for sure that you will be a having a great day ahead of you till the next morning. For those living in the city, such relaxing morning dissipates into thin air. It's all about hurrying off to work, hurrying off to school, you don't notice even if there's a morning dew greeting you from one of your potted plants. This is how disengage we are with nature even if it is only a drop of water.
A drop of tears. Sounds silly you say? It is life. It's not the first drop of tears you show when you were hauled up and out from your mother's womb. It is the tears from your mother. The joy and happiness for having you - a new breath of life. That drop of tears speaks volume. The unspeakable joy while counting the number of toes and fingers that you have. Pouring out her soul for your life to be blessed and crafting your future in her mind. As years go by, you will be the one to prove whether it should be tears of joy or of heartache. A mother's drop of tears cannot be replaced by neither gold nor silver. That is how vast and how deep her love for her offsprings. On the other hand, it is tears of relief that you're out and not gonna make her look like a hippopotamus anymore.
A trickle of water. Raindrop. When the sun has been shining it's glorious brightness, you will wish for even a drop of rain to come down from the cloudless sky. But when it is pouring cats and dogs, our natural built-in complain system in our head works wonderfully, complaining about how the rain should stop as it is getting too wet. Has it ever occur to you how happily the people who are faced with drought will be jumping about? That drop of water brings hope to a better future, a better crop yield, a better livelihood - life which does not have to be tortured by constant thirst.
A drop of water but endless ripples. A symbolic meaning for one's small action that causes multiple consequences. It may be positive yet, it may be negative. Now, let me share with you a one sentence story of a little wrong move causes a multitude of heartache and a mountain of problems. You are a family man yet due to your uncontrollable temper you killed someone by accident thus, you are to be sentenced for donkey years while your parents are tormented by busybody neighbours, your beautiful wife and lovely children suffered emotionally and financially, your siblings will be in a dilemma whether to acknowledge you as their brother or disown you, further stressing them in their lives. Well, if you do good to others, that kindness will flow from one hand to another, passing on goodness is contagious.Water has life of its own. If I've not remembered wrongly, according to one of the Japanese documented studies that caught my attention a few years back, it shows and proves that water has life of its own. Two experiments have been carried out simultaneously, a glass of water was rained with kind words and affection while the other glass of water was been yelled at, cursed and condemned. After the experiment, a drop of water from each jar was taken and placed on the microscople slide. Through the power of the magnification lenses, the Japanese scientists were astounded and astonished with the immense contrast of the pattern formed between the two droplets of water. You would be as shocked as they shocked then. The cursed and condemned water had haphazard patterns formed whilst the droplet with affectionate words enveloping it formed symmetrical patterns of beauty.
As the title says - a picture is worth a thousand words - that is just a proverb. Everything else is abstract. It is how you see things and how you view life. That photo is seriously just a drop of water, nothing but a drop of water. Profound and yet simple, simple and yet profound.