I'm more like her replacement mother since she was 7. That time I was only 20 and having a child with me... I wanted to scream my lungs out at a point of time. I didn't know why I agree to the arrangement. I'm one who loves my freedom... I do not like to be tied down with anything. The first few weeks she was with me, I was quite ok. Then, I became very agitated with everything. I remembered going to school during her break time to make sure she's ok. Then, usually we went to coffee shop for lunch, I bathed her after school... yes... I bathed her... and she changed me a lot.
Because of her, I started cooking. I'm one person who's adamant not to enter the kitchen no matter what. At the age of 19 I still had no idea how to boil water not to mention cooking instant noodles or making Milo for myself. Shuddup... don't laugh. Don't even shake your head and say I'm one hopeless case. Because of her, I'm a good cook now and I'm a pro in buying raw materials in the wet market. I don't want her to eat hawker food everyday. I wanted to shower her with everything that's from the best.
Because of her, I sacrifice some of my leisure time to spend my time with her. I'm one stingy person but I surprised myself when I bought clothes and stuff for her, I didn't even look at the price. As long as she wants them, then off those things ended up in paper bags.
I don't like noise... I don't even like sound. I like quietness. Because of her, I have her friends coming over and the whole house turned upside down. I was mad but I didn't scream at her. I'm responsible for her, for her safety, for her upbringing, for her happiness and yes... I love her as my own. She has grown to be very much like me.. she talks like me, she reasons like me, she's everything like me but of course not 100%. If 100% we'll be at each other's throat. Because of her, I think I can do anything just because of her... fancy seeing me rushing to school just to bring her lunch when she has to stay back, sitting in the car waiting for her to come out... There was once she came out late....10 minutes late... and I was searching for her high and low from one block to another... scare me half to death...
She's growing up fast... and starting to go against me at times but not that bad yet... give her another year I think we'll be at logger heads. Now she still wants me to be around.. shopping, going out for a walk, talking bout her classmates, her ups and downs, that's what she does... she enters the car and she starts spilling out whatever happened in school from morning until noon. She wants me to play with her... skating, taking all those scary rides... goodness gracious.. I don't think my heart can take it any longer... those rides... my heart almost stopped...
I have to do away with fren's invitation for lunch... I have to cook then fetch her from school. I do not like to make her wait for me under the hot sun. Last time, I used to go to school half an hour before the bell rang, then the school set a rule where parents should not be in the school compound... argh! Now that she's older, I went to school just nice when the school bell rang. Then, meet the parents session... I hate to hear complains 'bout her.
Now, I know why parents make such a big deal when their children were punished in school. Teachers in school, you whack her, I'll do anything to get you transfer out within 24 hours. Yes, I'm very protective towards her. You want to whack her or cane her, you tell me... I do it myself.
I'm just thinking to myself now, how do parents take care of their children for those who are working office hours? How did my mom do it?? My mom's amazing.
Last week was the first time she came home so early... 9:15am... second day of UPSR. We went for dim sum for breakfast then we went to Queensbay coz I have to work... I left her reading in Borders as I had to work alone... then we had New Zealand ice-cream... expensive but delicious..
Now, she's planning for me to take her go places and do crazy stuff... and with her friends... oh, my... I hope I don't look so out of place among 12 years old... with my dear maybe still acceptable.. coz dear is only 16 years old... then I have another 11 and 14 years old... It's quite difficult spending time with all of them at once.
There was once, all of them had different ideas. One wanted to go to Gurney, another wanted to go to Queensbay, another one wanted to go to Prangin and another one wanted to stay at home. *blink**blink* Then when they managed to make up their mind where to go, walking in a group became a difficult task... one looking at shoes, one got hooked to clothes, one refused to move away from the arcade, one got her soul entered into a story book and another one walked from one shop to another without stopping. Choosing a place to eat was equally as difficult. Chinese cuisine, Japanese, Korean, Western? If it's so difficult to decide, go home, I cook!