I think it's high time to talk about this. Remember about the sudden trip to Kuala Sepetang? You see, what I have in mind was something very different. I thought we were gonna stay in a chalet that overlooks the mud banks. Wherever it was that we're gonna stay, I have envisioned that we're gonna end up living in a big, comfortable place staring into sunrise from the east and enjoying the sunset view in the west. Do you know that I have an excellent imagination? But one must never misinterpret between God's voice and pure imagination, that will be very dangerous.
In the beginning of the year, I heard God asking me to do something unbelievable. I did it but I am one who also question God and His reasons behind everything. I got my answers 4 months later. It was not a pleasant surprise. I got catapulted out of my comfort zone and ended up weeping for someone whom I barely know. And that someone most probably never acknowledge me as a friend, but just someone unimportant. I was in an emotional and mental and spiritual mess for a few weeks. I was angry with everyone and everything and I snapped at the person whom I have to intercede for in prayers.
A few weeks later, during sermon, pastor said something that slammed me right in the middle of my stomach. It was a strange saying which sounded like this if I'm not mistaken,"Christians are the only person who would shoot their own wounded." Yes, I have to agree to that although most people couldn't understand it. I 'shot' the wounded that God has sent me to intercede in prayer... I have known since the beginning that I have to intercede but I shot at him through and through, at every chance that I have because I couldn't handle the situation. I wasn't ready to hear the reason why I was needed there.
Familiar with God's words.... Pray without ceasing... I think I never truly understand that verse because every time I asked for something, He would bless me with something better than what I asked for, almost immediately. And there were so many times that I just have a desire for something, and without even going to my Father in heaven for it, the stuff I wanted just walked right into me. Right then and there I know, He knows the desire of my heart whether I go to Him or not. So, I do take things for granted at times. But this time round it's different. It's interceding for others... a person who will never be your friend even when you want to be a true friend... and I prayed with my tears, not knowing what else to do. I was so lost that I felt like I have fallen into a deep hole and the only way to climb back up is to claw my way out with my fingernails. I was down in the dumps and I wanted to just get out of this place. I was crawling for a way out and I felt like a trapped animal.
Then out of the blue, the cousin called and asked me to go for a short trip. I agreed and instead of going alone with her, I bundled up the whole car with my whole large family. One moment, I felt like I wanted to be alone but on the other hand, it felt so wrong to do that. I wanted to be with the people I love and who loves me unconditionally. The place which we were suppose to stay in made my heart sank all the way down to my feet. It was just a concrete building with no view of whatsoever. And the worst part was there's not even a window in our room. Instead of splitting my large family to share a room with my cousy, all six of us slept together in one room. We're really good in bunking together, no problem with that. Now, I thought it was just gonna be a short trip to get away from everything... I was mistaken....
God was there, in the building itself. Our highlight of the trip was not the fireflies watch or the fantastic seafood in the village or visiting the charcoal factory. We were put there to pray for the owner of the building and a man who has great wealth with the cockle farming and charcoal factory and all the money in the world. There was one thing that he does not have, a good health. He has so many illnesses that he may just collapse anytime and leave everything behind. He has been praying to all sort of gods in the world but he has never experience our mighty God. It was time for him to acknowledge who Jesus is.
After spending hours talking, he's really comfortable sharing everything with us, his life, his ups and downs. By now I already know that I have the gift of the gap. I have the ability to talk to practically anyone, of all ages, and talk as if we've known each other for years. To cut the story short, he accepted our offer to pray for him and it's just marvelous to feel God's presence right there and then. He felt it, too so powerful that it could move a big and mighty man to tears. From then on, I never doubt God when He says go... I just need to go and ask questions on the way... or later... somehow or other, He will reveal everything along the way... and when the time is right according to Him.