Thursday, August 30, 2012

I Am A Miracle...

That's what I've learned so that one day when my time is up and I have to meet God, my name will be in the book of Life and He will tell me,"Well done, my child. You have been a very good servant."

To be a miracle to someone else is harder than to win a race in the Amazing Race. You'll have to keep your focus upon Jesus so that nothing will distract you. The enemies are always trying to be make you stumble and fall and at times, without knowing it,  we gave in to those things that made us stumble. 

I'm not sure whether I'm a miracle to someone else or not but I sure know that I have done a great deal for others but most of the time, it would never be returned with gratitude. Instead, it would be returned with nothing at all or worse, with complains and ungratefulness. Most of the time, I feel that people are just taking advantage of my kindness. I feel so used until to the extend that I try to be selfish more often, but I even fail to be selfish. Am I a failure of sorts? What ever happens to the promise, "I can do all things through Christ that strengthen me?"

To what extend should one be kind to others? I asked myself that often. I have sacrificed so much time and money that sometimes, I think that I should spend less on others and spend more for me, myself and I. I do also think about spending more time for me, myself and I instead of always having to fetch people around or following the whims and fancies of my kids who are not even of my blood. And the hubby also put them first instead of me which left me cursing everyone of them. I'm so pissed off right now that I have to drive home just to vent it out here. If just there is someone who can understand what I'm going through, but none could and none would. Therefore, I would rather choose to be left alone typing here.

I am not a selfish person but I do hope that if I am a miracle to someone else, somebody else would be a miracle to me, too... good friends are hard to come by. I have Judz, Juju and Gracie but well, sometimes they don't understand what's going on, too. It's easier said than done.

Right now, I feel like going away to somewhere alone... 

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