I Give Up... Mental Breakdown...

The more I empty the cabinets, the more stuff appear on the floor, in boxes I put them. I thought I have done the smallest room to perfection, but the rubbish piles up again. After screening through everything from each drawers, the things that I still want need to be put back. That's very very tedious. I almost have a nervous breakdown yesterday. I'm about to flip my marbles. This is mental torture. We always say that we should put up a table and eat outside as outside is always very windy. Yesterday, we had the chance to do so. We propped up the table, dragged out a few chairs, took our plates outside the corridor and had our lunch accompanied by the sound of concrete being drilled as the neighbours two doors away are renovating their house. So, we get what we wished for all these years. Eating on the corridor, bare-footed and with the blowing wind in our faces. There's not even an empty space in the whole entire house. The rubbish is never ending. It seems like there's a big hole in the house and it keeps coming and coming. No matter how much we sell the rubbish, they continue to appear. I really want to cry looking at the sight of everything piling up like a torpedo has zoomed passed the place and turning everything upside down in one go. I feel like going to work again. This is too much. I don't have that much stress when I'm working. Now, I'm all stressed up, not enough rest and rashes start appearing from under the skin. And where on earth do those phones come from? It's like treasure hunt and I don't even remember owning those stuff in my life. I don't even miss my stuff. Don't even remember having them.. I dug out a lot of mobile phones. Can put them all on display. Found a box of coins as well. Lots of coins... Found a thousand dollar in rupiah... the thing is I don't even miss a single thing of those. Should have just thrown eveything away but I did rescue quite a number of things back. The diskettes for B-drive? How many donkey years ago were that? Diskettes for A-drive are from dinosaur age. I HATE EVERYTHING~!!!

I'm having rashes all over. That's a sign that I'm under a lot of stress. I've never feel so stressed up before. This is just so horrible.