Tuesday, November 19, 2013


Yesterday, the Awesome Foursome squeezed behind the new KIA Cilantro that belonged to another friend but driven by yet another friend. We were crossing the bridge towards the mainland to visit the friend's dad who was made sick by the devil disguised as cancer. The liver has been hardened by cancer and he has lost so much weight. If I was all alone with him, I would be weeping and begging the Lord to take him home so that he does not have to suffer.

When grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer, I was weeping my eyes out but at that point of time, it never occur to me to either pray for healing or to pray at all. I was living in denial thinking that the rich family can buy anything in this world, they would be able to buy the best medicine to cure grandma. 
Last year, I made a wish. I think it's very dangerous for me to make wishes and passing statements. God seems to grant me almost everything that I wish for. I have to be very mindful of what I wish now. I wished to see someone I know get healed of cancer because I have never seen it with my own eyes. You and I most probably read about it, about someone's testimony which we don't even know the person for real. Maybe seen the person once but don't know them in private. So I wished for someone whom I might know of so that my faith can be strengthen. Selfish wish? 

So now I'm put to test... to pray for that someone. I did just that with tears at first. I was devastated in fact and started blaming myself for making such wish or even thinking about it. I prayed because I was driven by guilt. As time goes by, I started praying earnestly but when there's no news of progress, I almost give up. I have no words to pray with... I am like a broken old record praying the same thing over and over again.
Where did I go wrong? I'm fasting now and praying at the same time. You can never imagine me, a food lover, fasting for another soul. That's totally unheard of. But I'm doing it now not because I'm driven by guilt but I felt that I'm currently in a spiritual warfare for the person. And everything was timely. It's time to shut the kitchen down or I would be in the kitchen round the clock, having no time to even read God's Words. Out of the blue, this friend of mine challenged me to look better and go on a diet. I need just that to push me to do something totally different. I find it rather difficult but I'm doing it still. I thank God for sending people who really has been very helpful and encouraging for me to press on. 

Now, I have time for other activities and I am about done with half a sword... if you understand what that means. I have a Bible mentor with me all the way from across the ocean in another continent. He has been very helpful, too. Very knowledgeable and always giving me sound advice. 

Sometimes courage is the willingness to sacrifice for others; sometimes it involves giving up something precious for a need bigger than we are. Sometimes bravery means suffering through every day because people depend on you; smiling through the fear so others feel safe.These describe you, don't they? According to God, they also describe strength, sacrifice, courage. You're worthy - own it. - by Lee Goff, the author of the Thunder Trilogy

I'm asked to continue to pray... press on... it's about me God is interested in, not others. This will be a test of faith. Whether the man lives or dies, I am not in the position to question God's sovereignty. I didn't know what to think of from yesterday's short experience. Was it for me to expect the worst in future or was it an eye-opener for me to PUSH forward to see healing actually taking place. 

I have been blessed until I couldn't keep count anymore... this is one that I want to really see happen.

Each tragedy was a wall; the sleepless nights were hammer and nail; prayers that seemed to go unanswered were heard, signalling a host of angels to form a protective roof over you. The clock of today started ticking the day you were born, every moment playing its purposeful role. The mistakes have worth; the tragedies have worth; every memory you regret has its worth. You were made perfect in your imperfections, each one building more of your own worth. God bless you. - by Lee Goff, the author of the Thunder Trilogy...
Don't give up... I'm still PUSH-ing...

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