Saturday, February 05, 2011

...And Be Thankful...

Steamboat... again... be thankful for the food on the table. Don't complain... don't complain... and I'm not talking about the food.

Generally, I don't know how to be thankful for the things that I have that others don't. I have everything... everything. There's nothing that I don't have. Yet, I'm not satisfied. I always want something beyond my grasp. I want more of everything. I'm such a spoil brat. I don't know how I have manage to come to this point that I don't even know have to give thanks at all. I don't even know how to count my blessings. I'm insensitive to others plight and I don't understand how others feel. I neither know how to console a sad person neither do I know how to understand a person in a difficult situation. Everything is about me, myself and I. Fullstop. I find happiness something temporal. The joy that I found, I lost it. I don't know where I stuff it. It must be somewhere in my heart but I can't find it.

“Be still, and know that I am God..."[Psalm 46:10]

I'm having a hard time fighting with my inner self. I'm such a difficult person to handle. I can't even let go of anything. I've lost my freedom to write here freely. Everything that I write, people take it too seriously. I know you care for me, but please give me the freedom to write without commenting. I have no where else to write anymore. I can't live without writing. I can't write on papers... I just can't.

Leave me alone when I'm blogging~!!

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