Sunday, February 06, 2011

Disconnecting Myself...

“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
[Exodus 20:4]

Judz, thanks for the book Rumors. I've just read into Chapter 3 and I have been bulldozed over by the writer Philip Yancey. That proves that I'm doing a serious reading.

The word that ran over and flatten me is the ugly word 'IDOLATRY'. Addiction is equivalent to idolatry. By now, I know I'm a hardcore addict to the Internet. I'm addicted to Facebook. I wake up crawling to the computer before I go to the toilet. I clean myself up a few hours later or later in the evening. My morning and afternoon went missing swallowed by the virtual world that I've created for myself.

I am so self-absorbed. The site I like most is my own blog. I've always wanted to kick the habit out of this life of mine. I failed every time. I'm determined to make it work this time. Idolatry is simply not something I want to indulge in. If you've seen how long I'm online during the Chinese New Year, I scare myself with such long hours. I literally kept myself in the room and get myself sucked into the virtual world. I hardly connect with people in the house. I've never brought my laptop to the northern jungle but I did it this time because I can't live without it.

I've replaced something much more important that is real with something that's virtual. I replaced God. Time for God is pushed behind until when my eyes can hardly open and the mind is not working anymore when instead I should be very alert while reading God's Words. Help me shake my addiction. It's killing me slowly. I have a better life out there than this. I've shut down all my Facebook chat. It's not because I choose to ignore any of you but it's because I have to... most of you know I can chat whole day and whole nite. I'm sorry if you feel offended by what I'm doing. I won't be replying any messages as well until I'm ready. I hunger for God's Words, I want to spend more time doing what I used to enjoy doing.... that's reading God's Words. I want to immerse myself with His Words. It's high time I make a U-turn to my topsy turvy life.

Pam and Wit, I hope you're not offended. I don't expect you to understand this as you've not known what I've gone through and what I'm going through at this point of time. I need a major overhaul in my life or else I'll turn into somebody whom I don't recognize anymore. I just want to spend more time with God and nobody else and nothing else. I'll come back when the time is right. I won't be replying any of the messages. Just want to leave everything behind me and move forward. Whatever happens... happens... quoted from you. I believe that nothing ever happens not without the knowledge of my loving heavenly Father. The Sovereignty of God rules and reigns.
I shall not be contacted by any means of communication whether through Facebook, e-mail or through my mobile phones. Please respect my wishes. I hope you will understand. Even if you don't, I don't blame you. It's my own life that I'm trying to save. When time comes, if I come back then I come back. If I don't come back, I hope you will understand that, too.
During this season of time, please do not make any attempt to come and visit me. I will make myself not available. Don't waste the effort and time. It's not worth it. Our friendship is put on hold. Nothing matters except God and I don't want to be distracted from my quest to be drawn closer to God. At all times, I do not want to disobey my loving God. The blog still lives. Will be updated but not every time. Facebook must go, I've abused it in every way that I can think of. I will spend less and less time there.

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