Saturday, January 15, 2011


The cough has been around for too long. Seasonal cough? No such thing. My honey took my precious to the General Hospital before Juju goes off at 2 p.m. My eldest was there with her. Since I couldn't be there, my eldest took two videos of her when the blood was sucked out of her arm and wrist. Heard that the other two doctors were hovering around to give her moral support.

It's a must to get the blood test done as she's coughing out blood now. Instead of wrecking my brain, thinking about which part have I gone wrong in taking care of her, it's best to get the professional's expertise. As she knows Juju, things were better even when I wasn't there. She cried in the second video calling for me. Aawww... *sigh* I wish I could be there but I can't ditch my class in the afternoon.

I'll probably have to fore go my morning classes for three days in a row to get her phlegm tested next week. Suddenly, I feel very guilty running away for my self-made holidays on a working and schooling week. The responsibility carried by a mother is too much. Thus, I think by now I've made up my mind that I don't want to have any kids. Caring for 4 teenagers makes me feel that I'm chained with a death weight tugging at the end. No more... no more... enough is enough... almost every other week they give me so much problems and issues that need to be settled immediately.

I'm now looking after my youngest with the eyes of a hawk. She's starting to rebel... and I'll make sure she doesn't dare to rebel against me or else she will know what will come right smacking in her face. Just gave her a lecture yesterday. I lost all my breath and saliva after lecturing in great length... come next week she will repeat the same thing and I myself will repeat like a broken record. The eldest is getting better, at least not as lazy as last time when she refused to hand in her schoolwork and preferred to be punished in school and hear me nag in my sing-song voice.

My pineapple is stressed out in the first class but I'm still pushing her. The exam is coming... I have to push her... I have no choice, I can't see her flop... not even a bit. So prepare her to give her a head start...

My precious does her work automatically. She can't stand it when I start to nag so she knows how to keep me quiet by doing things my way. Most of my ways have been in-grained into her since she was small. Her health is of utmost importance so I don't care whether she performs well in school or not. If she wants good results, I believe that she will know what to do... there are consequences in every action... and that, I've implanted into her mind.

Motherhood is synonymous to the taste buds. It's a sweet experience when they went out of their way to show that they love you. It's also a sour experience when you have to teach them what is right and what is wrong and you'll end up being the bad guy. It's a salty experience when you taste your own tears crying out for them, have your heart sliced more than 64 pieces by what they've said or done. It's also bitter when you end up having a quarrel with them when you don't see eye to eye in some occasions.

In conclusion, I love them all even when I have to sacrifice my freedom. Nothing can ever replace them as they're irreplaceable.

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