Saturday, January 29, 2011

Spiritual Shock...

On the fourth day in Kuching, a Saturday nite, we attended church. Two at that. All I'm going to write is not to show disrespect to any party. This is solely my experience, solely my and mine alone. I apologize if I sounded rather harsh. I already knew that nite's plan was to attend a Catholic church. An evening mass. I have no vocabulary or whatsoever regarding catholicism. I've never entered a Catholic church before and I have no idea how a mass will be conducted. I didn't even know that the middle portion of the church has the altar in it. Worship is nothing like I've ever experienced before. Sermon is not what I've expected. I don't even know what I was expecting and I was in such a terrible shock I couldn't muster another word except to say that I was really really grateful that after half an hour, we're going to another church. Again, like I say this is my experience and I'm writing this down because this is my blog. God's presence is very strong in this church. I didn't know how God planned it, but He's such an awesome God, I couldn't fathom the ways He used. God even prepared the speaker to speak directly to me. God actually chased me all the way to Kuching and prepared the speaker to preach about wealth. You know my church has been preaching almost the same thing again and again not because the preachers are one boring lot of people, but it's because there's someone in the church who is not listening. And that person who is not listening is me. The preacher in Kuching even underlined that what he's preaching has nothing to do with prosperity gospel. He is right, it has nothing to do with prosperity gospel but he's talking to me because God wants him to.
Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do'
Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You
You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near

That's the song which I eventually broke down like a burst water dam. All the way to Kuching... God spoke to me. You know that temporary tattoo that I had. I was glad I had it when I was in the Catholic church so God wouldn't recognize me there. I was having a silly notion that He might not recognize me in Emmanuel Baptist Church as well and I wished I would have scrubbed harder when I was bathing to remove it so God can recognize me. He did recognize me. He knew I was there and He knew I was going to be there even before I decided to go. He has planned ahead and you meeting sister Jane and family wasn't a coincidence. Nothing is coincidence. There's no such word in my dictionary. The moment we stepped into the church, the usher gave me the church bulletin but didn't give it to you. I didn't think much of it until I read it. I dared not tell you that I was given a tight slap by God there and then. See that last phrase... And be thankful... I'm not thankful... I've always wanted more and more and more. Nothing seems to be enough for me.
There's one more condition that many people don't know about me. I can only sit still for an hour at max. That's why I'm always moving about and going places. That nite when you flipped the church bulletin to the back portion and I saw the 10.00p.m. printed black and bold, I wanted to scream my head off. By 9:15p.m. I was fidgeting and I was trying to sit as still as possible. Again, God knows. The sermon ended at exactly 9:30p.m. that's how long I could stand. Deep down I know God knows what's in my heart and my mind. I can't deny His existence. I do acknowledge His existence but I'm too hard-headed to do anything about it.


Anonymous said...

U sure know how to bocor the pipe within me.... I'm speechless, I want to be there for u now, I dunno how n what to say

seahorse27 said...

Don't say anything for the time being... I'm grateful that you're around...